Me: Let’s have baby.
He: Why?
Me: Both our parents are eating my head. we have to have a baby before they become old so that they can help us to take care of the baby.
He: Do you want to have kids just because they are forcing you to do.
Me: I don’t know whether to have a baby now to fulfil their wish or to have when we are ready.
He: Are you ready? that’s what matters at all.
This is what’s happening with us often. It’s not that we hate kids, but we are not ready yet. Whenever I go to my mom’s home or whenever I meet the relatives’ they keep asking me when are you going to have kids? See your neighbour’s daughter is pregnant. You should have kids now. It’s been two years of marriage.
What? Am I a baby making machine? I hate sometimes when people ask such questions. Before marriage they pester you about when are you going to marry, once you get married, they will ask you about the kids. After you have 1st kid, they will start asking you about 2nd. Why? Here’s an anecdote, just after 2 months of my marriage when I went to a relatives’ house and my belly was popping out after a heavy meal and this aunt of my husband asked me how many months? Me looking like a fish out of water not even understanding what she is asking about, I started looking at my mother-in-law to rescue me from this awkward situation. That’s when I thought of taking my workout seriously, but no I couldn’t hide my belly popping out though, because I couldn’t control my lust for ice creams and food. And I’m really terrified about this whole baby thing coming out of my womb. I can’t let any party going on in my uterus right now.
This husband of mine doesn’t want to have kids yet, if I ask him why? he will give me a lecture about climate change and it feels like I’m listening to some news channel, who is shouting like the world will come to an end. Why should our kids suffer from this? Give me an answer… lol. He is a travel enthusiast and he will start ranting at me as if I’m already spoiled his travel plans. My man tells his parents that he wants to travel and babies will take all our time and attention blah blah blah and they end-up thinking he has no responsibility in life.
Fun apart, if any of these things are happening with you, just tell your parents / in-laws why you are not ready yet. We cannot blame them too, because they have dreamed about their retired life by spending time with their grandchildren. But instead of exasperating, we can make them understand why we don’t want to have kids right now. If you tell them you can’t travel or they will consume all of your energy and attention, these reasons won’t work with parents. Instead, you can tell them reasons like:
-You have to concentrate on your job, your study or you are waiting for an arm chair job, etc.
-To secure your financial condition so that you can take care of your child well.
-You want to buy a house, a property, a car etc.
-Or you can simply tell them you are trying and there comes the end of the conversation about the topic.
The cooler you are easier to handle.
For some, parenting is a wonderful experience they enjoy every part of it. And I’m not against parenting, even I like kids very much, but this is about the parents who force their daughters or daughter in laws to have babies. Having children is a big decision any couple could make. To make such a decision both have to agree on that, later don’t resent on each other. A baby is a magical creation when two souls unite, they are the blessings make it worth when you both are ready. A cue for men, take initiative to tell your parents about why you don’t want to have kids yet and tell them to wait until you announce it because women are the ones who hear the constant tantrums about having kids. Don’t take me wrong.
We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves.
-Henry Ward Beecher
Once you have children you couldn’t imagine a life without them. You will love them forever. Of course, your life changes after having a baby, like midnight cries, changing diapers, hectic schedules, being attentive 24/7 and so many other things which changes your lifestyle. But look at the bright side, children are like a reward of your love. When you look at their tiny hands, tiny legs, their laughs all your stress will be gone and you will forget the whole world. They will become your world. So, don’t get stressed out, don’t come under any pressure and have a great future.
If you go through any of these circumstances, please do share your thoughts in the comment and if you have any solutions to beat the parental pressure let me know through comments.
PC: All photos are taken by my husband https://wanderlustlensman.com/
Glitterbyways 
Really enjoyed reading it.. Very funny things that u have described made me laugh.. Like, am I a baby- making machine?? And this is the common question, honestly speaking, where I also came across with some stranger.. Wen ur belly pops, dey think we r pregnant.. And to be frank, sometimes I’m a kinda person, with same thoughts as your husband, regarding population control, climate changes, now even r lifestyle is also changing.. It’s not dat healthy as before.. But having children, again comes to their personal opinion.. U should know wen exactly is the best time to have kids?? N act accordingly.. Now you can convince your husband, as climate is changing n not safe to travel, so forget about travelling for few years.. But delaying for more years is not good.. But once u have a kid, it’s for sure, u have a lifetime project for about 20 yrs.. It’s fixed..
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Thank you. And sure I’ll consider your suggestions
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I think these kind of situation arises in most of the cases. From time immemorial till today this type of questions have arised. People are more interested and curious to know about what’s going on in others lives rather than looking into their own. So we shouldn’t bother about what others say or keep questioning us ,just ignore them and move on because it’s our life. As far as our parents and in laws are concerned, you must tell openly what’s there in your mind and I think they should respect your decisions also and you should also consider their wishes. I think if there is mutual understanding and respect for one another then these issues can be resolved smoothly. But the ultimate decision is of the husband and wife which has to be respected. But my request is take the decision wisely .
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Glad you liked’ it .
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